


Help Me Out And Kiss Me

by lavenderfreckles



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, I Blame Tumblr, Levi Is Bad At Feelings, M/M, What Was I Thinking?, but it ends up being real, chapter two wohoooo, idk why i picked him, its alright i guess, military kink obvs because this is still about soldiers, side winmin more like heck yeah, there's a little bit of age difference, theres hannes being a creep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderfreckles/pseuds/lavenderfreckles
Summary: Being alone on your 21st birthday can be quite awkward, especially if you have to run to a stranger and ask him to be your boyfriend just to fend off a creep. But it can be a good thing if he decides to play along.





	1. Chapter 1

This was not how Eren had planned to spend his 21st birthday.

Meeting up with Armin and Mikasa? Obviously.

First time in a gay bar? Been planned for weeks.

Letting his friends leave with hot people were the necessity to arrive? He was ready for that.

Yes, he was finally allowed to drink, but because of it people seemed to notice him more. His beer seemed to be an arrow pointed at him saying “This boy is legal, do with him what you will”.

There was this one particular creep that seemed to be very interested in him, as he'd been trying to get close to Eren for the whole night. Mikasa and Armin had helped fending him off for a while, but now that they had both left with two hot strangers (which was perfectly fine because that was their arrangement) he had to deal with the creep alone, and it annoyed him more than it scared him. He was quite scared of him nonetheless.

“Hello, young man...” he slurred, obviously drunk.

_Holy walls not again please go away_.

“Oh, um, hello sir. Again.” Eren mumbled, looking down at his beer, which had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.

“Come on, boy, no need to be so formal...” he said, leaning on Eren's shoulder. Eren shuddered at this and tried to push him off, which didn't prove to be difficult at all.

The creep fell into a chair but then stood up clumsily.

“I'm Hannes, what's your name, pretty boy?”

Eren had never found 'pretty boy' offensive, it was literally a massive compliment. But from Hannes' lips it felt like the worst slur, almost like being called fag or queer by stupid high school bullies who just didn't realise they were attracted to him until years later. So he cringed and answered through his teeth.

“I'm... I'm Eren...” he murmured.

“Weeeeell, _Eren_ , why are ya so alone tonight?”

“I'm not! I, uh, I'm...” he had to think fast. “I'm w-waiting for my boyfriend!”

“Reeeally?” Hannes mumbled, getting way too close for Eren's liking. “So where is he, leaving such a beautiful creature all alone?”

“He, uh, he's very busy, important job and everything. He's coming soon, I think.” Eren started looking around, trying to find someone who'd fit the description.

“Is he now?” Hannes purred in his ear.

 

As if by magic, the perfect candidate walked in. He had hair the colour of a literal raven, with the most polished undercut he'd ever witnessed on a human. The shirt was black, buttoned up slightly more than half way, paired with nice dark jeans. His face? Like an angel. Like an angel who wanted to murder you, but still an angel.

_Brilliant, now if only I had the guts to talk to him_.

“So, you're 21, eh?” the creep whispered.

_That's. It._

“Oh, look, there he is! Excuse me, um, whatever your name is.”

Eren stood up, grabbed his beer (even though it was empty) and speed walked towards the angel with murderous intentions, who was now very confused.

“Hey babe!” Eren yelled “What took you so long, haha!”

He then threw himself at the stranger and kissed him. The kiss was not part of the plan.

A lot of thoughts went through his mind.

_Whoops._

_Woah this guy's lips are soft._

_Shit this is my first kiss._

_Holy shit I look like such a pervert._

He let go, blushing furiously, and looked at the guy's face for a moment, that had the same shade of pink he did. He had an expression Eren couldn't describe, so he leaned in and whispered:

“I'm so sorry, I truly am, this guy behind me is a creep, please play along? I'm Eren”

“Say no more. I'm Levi.” he whispered back.

Levi threw Eren onto his lap in one swift move, which only made him blush even more, then stroked his face lovingly, and Eren was sure he'd have died from how cute this guy was.

“Well, hello there Levi dude.” Hannes murmured.

“Hello Hannes, still creepy as shit I see.”

“Oh come on, dude, that's just rude.”

“So is perving on my boyfriend, you asshole.”

“Alright, alright, I guess you're right. I'll leave you boys to it, then.” Hannes then clumsily winked and stumbled his way out of the bar.

 

“That piece of shit has been on my nerves for the past ten years” Levi commented when Hannes left.

“Really? Wow”.

They were in silence for a moment, still staring at each other.

“So, uh, how old are you Levi?”

The man sighed, almost in disappointment. “32 next Saturday.”

Eren's eyes widened in surprise. “R-really? I would've thought 25, at the latest!”

Levi chuckled under his breath. “Not the first time I've heard that. So how about you?”

“I'm, uh, I'm 21. It's kinda my birthday today.” Eren felt so small now.

Levi looked confused now. “Why are you alone on your 21st? Surely that's not right.”

“Oh I didn't come alone, but me and my friends made a deal so that if they met someone hot they could go away with them if they wanted to. And they both did, so yeah, kind of alone now.”

“Well, I guess we could hang out now that we're here.” Levi suggested. Eren went even more red and Levi panicked. “O-only i-i-if y-you w-want to of c-course... I mean I'm just a weird old man you got to play 'boyfriends' with which was TOTALLY cool by the way I would have done the same-”

“Hey, it's OK! I would love to hang out with you, you're alright.”

They both sighed in relief.

 

They spent the night chatting away about anything and everything, the kiss had been an extremely efficient ice breaker and nothing seemed awkward.

Towards the end of the night they exchanged phone numbers.

“Call me whenever you feel like going on a real date, yeah?”

“Of course, Levi.” Eren smiled.

 

As they headed their separate ways Levi heard him phone ring in his pocket and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Is now too soon?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little sequel I've thought about for a while. Enjoy!

_"Call me when you're ready for a real date, OK?"_

_"Of course, Levi."_

_So they headed in opposite directions._

_Suddenly Levi's phone rang and by instinct he answered without looking at the caller ID._

_"Hello?"_

_"Is now too soon?"_

 

Levi took a long breath and turned around. Eren was smirking like the clever little shit he thought himself to be.

"Well, is it?" he asked, with his phone still close to his ear.

Levi closed the call with graceful fingers and an unamused expression, even though he was secretly going crazy for this boy. "No, I guess it's not."

"Yay!" Eren squealed like a teenage fangirl at a concert.

Levi rolled his eyes, but Eren knew better than to be offended by it by now. He linked his arm to Levi's and started walking in the direction opposite from where his house was with him. Levi decided he liked this over enthusiastic 20-something.

They walked together in peaceful silence, but something was bothering Eren.

"I, uh, I never _actually_ thanked you for what you did."

"Saving you from that creep? It was nothing, any not messed up person would have done it." Levi blurted out.

"I'm just glad it was you," Eren confessed.

The two men looked at each other and smiled. Even Levi.

"So how do you know Hannes, anyway? You're so different, where the hell did you meet?"

"I was in the army for a while when I was younger. I was alright, but I retired early."

Eren turned bright red. "Y-you... You were in the army? W-with the uniform...?"

Levi snorted. "Yeah, why? You into all of that?"

Eren scratched the nape of his neck with his free hand, getting brighter by the second. "I, uh..."

"You're cute."

Eren felt like he was about to explode. "Thanks, Levi."

They were silent for a while, and all Eren could do was picture Levi in that damn uniform. Out of nowhere, Eren's phone beeped.

"Oh, it's a text from Armin."

Levi leaned in. "Why is he saved as 'Coconut'?"

Eren laughed. "Well, til the end of high school he had this haircut that-" he stopped talking when he saw the text. It was a photo of him and the tall blond man he had left the bar with under some sheets, with the caption "How's your night going?" and a wink emoji.

"Oh my," Eren whispered, "Coconut just got laid."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "That's Erwin."

"You know him?"

"Mhm, he was a friend in the army."

_Goddamnit what's with this damn army oh my God._

"Wow."

"Yeah, I had no idea he was into younger men."

"You're one to talk." Eren smiled as he quickly typed a response.

"Shut up, brat." Levi murmured, ruffling Eren's hair. "Come on. We're almost there."

"Oh, by the way, where are we going?"

"I, uh, was going home so I just... But if it makes you uncomfortable we can-"

"That's OK, I trust you."

"I have a roommate, so you wouldn't be alone."

"Cool! Let's go, then!"

 

"Hange, I'm home!" Levi yelled as they walked through the door, just in time to feel an explosion. Out of the smoke caused by it emerged a tall-ish figure with messy hair.

"Hange, for God's sake, what the hell is this?"

"Ah, Levi! I was trying to see what barium and- Hey, you have company!"

"Yes, this is Eren, it's his birthday today."

"Hello, Eren! Happy birthday then!" Hange came over to him and gave him a strong handshake. "I've never heard of you before, but I'm glad you're keeping Ravioli happy. How old are ya today?"

"Twenty-one," he muttered, a little overwhelmed but in a nice way.

"Woah, Ravioli, I didn't know you went for younger men, good for you!"

"Shut it, shitty glasses, you make me sound like a cougar." Levi blushed. If for embarrassment or anger Eren was not sure. "Come on Eren." he murmured, dragging Eren away from a laughing Hange.

_Aw, he can be cute as well_ , Eren thought fondly.

"Ravioli?" Eren laughed.

"Someone thought my name was spelled Rivaille for some shitty reason and Hange came up with Ravioli. But only shitty glasses gets to call me that. Deal?"

"Deal," Eren said, still laughing inside.

 

Levi's room was very nice, clean and simple. There weren't many accessories, a queen sized bed, a cupboard and a desk with a computer, and all following a black to grey aesthetic. There was a sofa at the end of the bed which was facing the TV, that's where Levi and Eren hung out for a while.

After a few minutes of chatting, they turned on the television and watched a couple of episodes of Dexter, exchanging little comments.

About four episodes in Eren realised there was silence on Levi's part, so he looked over at him to find the shorter man asleep, leaning on him like a pillow. Eren twitched in disbelief at how cute this man was, causing his head to fall on Eren's lap, still sleeping.

_Would it be weird to stroke his hair? Probably. But would it hurt to try?_

Slowly and shyly, he started gently stroking Levi's black hair. Sleepy Levi approved, nuzzling his head into Eren's hand. Eren smiled and continued.

He leaned his head onto the back of the sofa soaking in the relaxing feeling of Levi's soft hair through his fingers, almost dozing off.

"You enjoying that, Jaeger?"

"HOLY... I'm sorry I'm so sorry!" Eren gasped.

"Calm down, that was fun."

"NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST WEIRD I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE EXCUSE ME." and he rushed to the bathroom he'd spotted earlier.

Levi sighed and gently touched the spot on his head Eren had been stroking.

 

_That was bad, that was so goddamn bad. First I kiss him without his permission, then I land on his lap AND THEN I STROKE HIS HEAD WHEN HE'S ASLEEP? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! IS A BEER ENOUGH TO INTOXICATE ME LIKE THIS??_

Eren looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection was not impressed. "Stop judging me, you asshat." he murmured angrily.

He sat on the closed toilet seat and sighed deeply. _I was enjoying it though..._

 

"Eren! Eren! It's been an hour, what are you doing?" Levi called from the other side.

Eren sighed and opened the door.

"Are you ok? Do you want to leave?"

"Not really, no. But I'm sure you want me to go so I'll get-"

Levi kissed him. "Please stay."

Eren's eyes widened a little, but he picked Levi up and kissed him. Levi held on with his legs tied around Eren's waist and his hands in his hair.

They paused for a moment, evaluating each other's face to see if they wanted the same thing.

"I do." they said at the same time.

 

Eren started walking towards Levi's room. He felt a door and clumsily opened it with the one hand that was free. It was dark, so finding the bed was hard. Once they did Eren dropped on it on his back so that Levi wouldn't be squashed.

They spent a long time making out as if it was all either was meant to do for the rest of their lives.

"Not bad for your third kiss, Eren," Levi commented as Eren took a break to admire his swollen lips.

"Thank you, Ra-, um, Levi." _Oh my god I was about to call him Ravioli I'd be so dead..._

Levi noticed and raised an eyebrow, but Eren was quick to move on to his neck, which he discovered was very sensitive.

After a while, Eren was drawn back to Levi's lips.

 

Suddenly the light switched on, and the two men looked around with pained eyes.

"What the..." Levi blinked.

"Ahoy, lovers! Is love so blind it cannot tell rooms apart?" Hange smiled, very entertained.

They looked around. This was not Levi's room. It was much too messy and bright.

Levi pushed Eren off of him and stood up blushing deeply, all his dignity seemingly out the window.

Eren was too dazed to feel any kind of embarrassment.

"Eren, maybe you should go home," Levi whispered, mortified.

"Alright. Will you take me home, Levi?" Eren said, holding out his hand.

Levi nodded and took his hand, still red in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I can't believe how well this is going! Leave a comment to make my day?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it as much as I do! If you did please leave a comment to make my day?


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